Pros and Cons of Statehood for Palestine

29 Nov

Palestinian flag

Five reasons to oppose Palestinian statehood:

  1. Nobody actually knows—or will ever agree—what its boundaries are.
  2. The world has plenty of divisive, factional governments, and watching Fatah and Hamas battle through an election cycle would just be too depressing.
  3. The Palestinians probably won’t sell us any oil.
  4. Should this move bring increased peace to the region, the media will be forced to subject us to greater coverage of celebrity romances.
  5. With stability, those scrappy Palestinians might ramp up their export economy, further threatening the U.S. economy when their clothing, wine, etc. get trendy with leftist American snobs.

Five reasons to support Palestinian statehood:

  1. Israel and the U.S. will finally have a concrete government they can complain about/declare war on.
  2. They already have a flag.
  3. More than 300,000 Israeli settlers would suddenly have to account for their behavior.
  4. Maybe they’ll let the U.S. build an airbase there to protect the peace-loving Palestinians from Iranian incursions.
  5. Once subject to government regulations, the militants will be so overwhelmed by supplier bidding processes, taxes, environmental impact studies, and political red tape that they won’t have the time or funding to fire rockets at Israel.
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