Post-Papal Job Opps

12 Feb

Six new career paths for Pope Benedict XVI during retirement

Simply a matter of changing hats

  1. Lobbyist—This is a no-brainer. The very definition of lobbying is to wield influence, and who on the planet has greater influence? He’d have to be careful about which special interests he represented so as to avoid the embarrassment of appearing at public functions or in TV commercials  with protestant movie stars or singers like Madonna or Lady Gaga.
  2. Corporate consultant/board member—While many detractors, both in and out of the church, would argue whether he “has a finger on the pulse of the people,” conservative corporations worldwide would scramble to have him on their team, even if he didn’t do anything except show up at the annual board meeting.
  3. Pitchman for Italy/Vatican tourism board—The Italian economy is still in grave crisis and can use all the help it can get.
  4. TV show host—At first I thought of something like Robin Leach’s Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous, though more along the lines of Grand Religious Monuments of the World. But that would require a jet-setting lifestyle. So maybe he should follow the lead of John Bunnell or the late Alistair Cooke, who stayed in a studio or on-set introducing segments. I’ll bet the Catholic church has plenty of thrilling historical accounts of priests or nuns in peril that could be reenacted.
  5. The man behind the curtain—Imagine keeping much of the power and influence of the papacy without having to fulfill its public duties. How much could he accomplish now that he can expend his cultural capital on getting things done instead of giving speeches and waving from cars and balconies?
  6. Movie cameo actor—I haven’t seen many films where the pope was an actual character in the screenplay, but he would be great in cameo appearances. And not just globe-trotting franchises like James Bond and Jason Bourne. Think of the great response if he silently shared a NYC cab with some hapless comedic heroine, or was sipping a latte with Stan Lee in the next Avengers movie.
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