Archive | February, 2014

Song of the Week: “The Different Story” – Peter Schilling

27 Feb

German synthpop singer Peter Schilling is best known in the U.S. for 1983’s “Major Tom (Coming Home),” a paean (knock-off?) to David Bowie’s “Space Oddity.” It was a catchy song, sure, but I found 1989’s “The Different Story” just as danceable, though I don’t think it charted in the States. Plus, the video is filled with a catalog of 80s-era genre clichés and erratic symbolism that left you thinking, “I don’t know what it all means, but it must be deep.”

20 Things You Hate to Hear Your Spouse Say When They First Enter the Room

26 Feb


Marriage can be a wonderful thing, but the casual familiarity born of years of togetherness can sometimes create moments of alarm. Especially when they come suddenly, without warning, and you’re not prepared, sayings like these can ruin your day:

  1. Do we know any good divorce attorneys?
  2. Why are you still here? Was it canceled?
  3. I decided today just to talk to a realtor.
  4. Apparently you didn’t remember!
  5. If you’re in here, then where’s the car?
  6. Okay, now, hear me out before you say anything.
  7. Remember that person I was dating when I first met you?
  8. If anyone calls from work or from the police, I’m not here.
  9. What was that for?!
  10. Well, I’ve come to a decision.
  11. Who’s that in the downstairs bathroom?
  12. Humph. Figures.
  13. Well? Don’t you have anything to say?
  14. Just to warn you, but this may be the worst night of our lives.
  15. I saw you today, but decided not to say “hi.”
  16. Why are you making credit card purchases in Latvia?
  17. So, your boss called me today while you were at work.
  18. Quick question: How’s our current religious “status” working out for you?
  19. You could have said something to your spouse, you know!
  20. I was walking past the dog pound today, and suddenly decided, “why not?”

Song of the Week: “Yours Truly, 2095” – Electric Light Orchestra

19 Feb

ELO’s 1981 concept album Time is a synth-heavy, often humorous look at time travel and what life will be like in the late 21st century. The big hit from this album (in Europe) was “Hold on Tight,” best known in America as the soundtrack to the mid-80s “coffee generation” commercials. Another great single from the record is “Here Is the News,” which considers the topics that local news will cover in the future. This week’s tune is about a guy who, pining for lost love, ends up falling for an android.

Bad Valentine’s Day Gifts

10 Feb

Valentine’s Day is coming up, so I thought I’d repost this informative guide to getting safely through the week.

Maximum Know-How

23 items you should definitely NOT give your significant other

Bad Valentine's Day Gifts

Valentine’s Day is only a week away, so it’s time to start thinking of the perfect offering to hand your loved one next Thursday. For those people who tend toward last-minute panic buying—for example, those who race to the local drug store at 11:30 the night before trying to remember their companion’s favorite type of candy bar—Maximum Know-How has your back. We understand that panicked procrastinators often practice poor decision-making in the heat of the moment, thinking that a really bad gift idea will be just the thing to show their love and devotion. To help protect these vulnerable shoppers from (usually well-deserved) post–Valentine’s Day wrath, we offer this list of what not to give on Valentine’s Day—even if it’s on sale and you can find it fast.

  1. Coupon for a free consultation at the weight-loss center
  2. Vacation tour…

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Song of the Week: “No Light, No Light” – Florence + the Machine

10 Feb

One of my favorite songs so far to come out of the 2010s, this is the second single from their 2011 album Ceremonials. I decided to feature a live video because it’s so awesome, but here’s the studio version.

Song of the Week: “Sun & Moon” (Acoustic) – Above & Beyond

3 Feb

I love Oceanlab, a collaboration between the powerhouse club trio Above & Beyond and vocalist Justine Suissa, so I was interested to hear that A&B were producing a show featuring acoustic arrangements of several of their popular dance tracks, including some Oceanlab songs. The result is pretty amazing, but my walkaway favorite performance is of an A&B song from their Group Therapy album. Here’s the original arrangement of “Sun & Moon,” with the acoustic version below. Wonderful vocal work by Alex Vargas.